Bush Distracted by "Fuzzy Friends".

by Chris Conroy
WASHINGTON- President Bush interrupted his own press conference on Iraq today to ask reporters if he could pet their "pretty tribbles."

 

 

Bush Gets His Irish Up.


WASHINGTON- President Bush was angered by an Irish journalist, Carole Coleman of RTE, who dared question whether the world was a safer place thanks to his War on Terror. Continuously flustered, Bush invoked a Ross Perot-like refrain of "now let me finish". Apparently the US President has been spoiled by American "journalsts" more likely to Pog Hon (Gaelic for kiss ass).

President Bush promptly cancelled his wife's scheduled interview with Coleman and stated he would never drink Killian's Red beer or Irish coffee again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Iraqis Given Custody of Saddam - Sort Of.

BAGDAD - Former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein was turned over to the custody of the new Iraqi government. The former dictator was not physically moved, nor were his US guards replaces with Iraqi guards in fact the Iraqi people aren't allowed to know where he is.

Iraq's new leader President Hamma Qui Zling said nonetheless "This transfer of custody is an important event."

In other news the US led coalition has replaced the coffee the Iraqi people normally drink with decaf Sanka.

Clear Channel to Buy RTE.


SAN ANTONIO, TX - Mega media corporation Clear Channel announced it would enter the Irish media markets with the purchase of RTE the national radio and televison network. "We want to bring the Irish people the same level of quality and freedom of the press that we offer here in America the land of the free." said a Clear Channel spokesman. He denied they were reacting to a called from FCC Chairman Michael Powell or his Dad Secretary of State Collin Powell. "Well, I don't deny they called. they both call all the time. You know just chit-chat. 'Did you listen to Howard Stern today? Don't you hate Viacom.' Stuff like that. They barely mentioned Ireland getting uppity."

 

 

 

 
posted 6/10/04