Taliban's Secret Weapon: Toaster Pastries

WASHINGTON - Addressing the press today Donald Rumsfeld revealed that many of Osama Bin Laden's secret communiques to his top agents were transmitted via pastry. Ordinary store bought pastries available in frozen food sections of most supermarkets. The icing on the frozen pastries was used to write instructions to his collaborators. Rumsfeld would not reveal how the pastries were transported to and from sender and recipient, but a Pentagon source tells CNN they were hand courriered by members of Al Qaeda in both the US and abroad.

The earliest attempts at the pastry protocols (as the clever culinary code system has been dubbed) date back to 1997. These were of limited use. The pastry could only support 2-3 short words. In the photo below the message once translated reads simply "Omar, jerk."

These photos were released to the media today by the White House Press Secretary to support the announcement by Rumsfeld. Rumsfeld went on to say that the pastry protocols grew more sophisticated as the Taliban was able to improve the technology.

"In the Pastry Protocol 2.0 we see an increase from three to forty five charcaters. I don't think I need point out how much deadly information can be conveyed in forty five characters even if they are crafted in delicious frosting." said Rumsfeld.

When pressed for an example of such a brief yet deadly message the Defense Secretary offered this: "We will destroy all that you love except Playstation2 we like that."

Rumsfeld stressed that Americans should continue to go about their lives and eat pastries as they would normally.