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LOTR: ROTK reviewed.
Well, I saw the third and final "Lord Of The Rings" movie last night
at a WGA preview.
If you watched those first two movies as closely as I did, I'm happy
to tell you that all those great characters are back for this one - the
crazy little bald guy in the loincloth, the tall good-looking guy with
the beard, the blond guy with the Spock ears, twelve foot tall Ian McKellen,
not to mention the hobnobs. (Liv Tyler drops in for maybe three scenes
but my recollection is she was asleep with voice-over in two of them.)
 Like
the previous movies ("Lord Of The Rings: 1 and 2"), this film really made
me feel what it was like being a kid at the movies, staring wide-eyed
up at the screen thinking, "I don't know what that guy in the tunic is
so angry about - but this is great!" I'm sure the dialogue will make a
lot more sense after I carve out that three-day weekend to watch the DVD's
- but as I realized during the first movie, if a guy with an American/English/New
Zealand accent shouts, "When the beacons of Nondor are lit, victory will
be ours!" and a million guys march with spears, that's pretty much all
you need to know.
By my count there is only one Jewish character in the third film and
that's the already mentioned little bald guy who talks to himself, Spiegel.
At the beginning of the movie, Spiegel gets hold of a gold band which
leads to great personal suffering, a precipitous emotional decline and
much personal wandering as an outcast, all of which I found a little too
resonant.
Surprisingly, even with this funny little Jew onboard, I didn't pick
up a single wiseguy line or an ironic take in the whole movie. It may
be an action-adventure film in 2003 but if you're expecting someone to
say, "Oh, yeah - like I'm going to run up a stone staircase collapsing
into a lava pit," you will be sorely disappointed, my friend.
I don't think I'm giving too much away when I tell you that when the
king returns (see movie title), this is no half-assed return. It's not
one of those slip in the door things - "Hey, look who's back, the king."
"LOTR:ROTK" (as I will refer to it) is three and a half hours long so
my advice is that when you get even the hint that the king is returning,
stay put. Remember when Paul Bremer said, "Let's see if there's anyone
in the back who can read the President's Thanksgiving message" - and then
George Bush himself walked out? Well, this is bigger than that - and you
won't be watching "LOTR:ROTK" four times a day for the next week so I'd
catch this one the first time around.
The ending of "LOTR:ROTK" is very satisfying, especially the fifth one.
(I counted between seven and nine endings but if anyone knows the exact
number, send me an e-mail.)
Bottom line - a great movie that will make an unspeakable amount of money.
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