The Answer No Longer Blowing in the Wind.

In 1963 Bob Dylan asked a generation a question or two. Almost 40 years later we have the answers.

How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man?

Three. But one must be the road less travelled and another should be Lombard Street.

Yes, 'n' how many seas must a white dove sail before she sleeps in the sand?

It's very difficult to get a dove of any color to sleep in the sand but if it sails over a sea of chloroform, you pretty much need just the one sea and it'll sleep where ever you set it down.

Yes, 'n' how many times must the cannon balls fly before they're forever banned?

While they're not technically banned cannon balls are now out of use so if anyone would just tell us how many times they've flown say pre-1912 we'd have our answer. [With the exception of those used by Civil War reinactors.]

How many times must a man look up before he can see the sky?

Our testing concludes: one time. As long as he's not blind or indoors, one time should do it.

Yes, 'n' how many ears must one man have before he can hear people cry?

We really don't know. We had five researchers eat as much corn on the cob as they could. The best of them managed to eat 17 ears of corn, but none of them were reduced to tears.

Yes, 'n' how many deaths will it take till he knows that too many people have died?

Too many is a matter of personal opinion of course but we feel 25% is a bit too much. So given the world population of 6.2 billion people, we figure 1 billion 550 million would be the number of deaths it takes.

How many years can a mountain exist before it's washed to the sea?

Seven. Oh no wait not seven. Seven thousand years per inch elevation above sea level for a igneous rock formation mountain with no vegetation (assuming average tidal activity). Softer mountain terrain will erode in salt water faster.

Yes, 'n' how many years can some people exist before they're allowed to be free?

It's not likely to be more than 93 years (for female non smokers, 90 if they smoke, 88 for male non smokers, 85 if they smoke) In any case no more than 123 years for anybody we're fairly certain of that.

Yes, 'n' how many times can a man turn his head, pretending he just doesn't see?

Our tester did it 379 times before developing a nasty crick in his neck. To be fair though several of our observers said they could tell he wasn't really blind.

These answers, my friend, are blowin' on the web.

posted 7/12/02 DeFabio